This week has been a little off. After the less-than-stellar running club meetup on Monday (mansplaining, IT band irritated with the trails and awkward pace) I was stressing a bit over what I want to do for those meet ups in the future. I really like some of the folks in the group, but the pace is rough on my IT band (tough to hold good form once we slow towards 10 minute pace) and I feel like the leader thinks I’m being bitchy/a show-off if I run my usual pace. I just don’t want to be in pain…
Option 1 is just not going…but I enjoy the social aspect and want to take advantage of the short summer meetup season.
Option 2 is going but running alone, using the excuse that I’m working on my form/getting over an injury, and then joining the group for beer. Not sure how that would go over and worried it will illicit more attention from certain folks 😛
Option 3 is to just ‘accidentally’ show up really late and miss the group run but still arrive in time for beer. Might get suspicious after a couple times 😉
Any advice is welcome! I love the group but it’s just not big enough to have a wide variety of pace groups and the expectation that we all run together is tough with a range of individual paces.
Anyhow, I was already anxious about running club, and then I ran into some social issues at work, so my usual social anxiety and feelings of isolation here have been amplified all week. The anxiety turned into not having the energy to attend group ride or navigate the lunch scene at work (ate at my desk instead one day). I feel like I’m back in every first year at a new school growing up, or my first year of grad school before I’d started making friends.
Being the only (locally located) employee in my department is rough – the other departments go hiking together and hang out outside of work and I sit at home and awkwardly see their fun photos on Facebook and feel incredibly lame. It would be funny if it didn’t make me so sad… I’ve been wishing that my awesome long-distance coworkers were in town – we can talk about hiking and whatever but it’s somehow not quite the same as actually going together 😛 I was so down that I skipped my rides on Thurs and Fri – I just couldn’t bear the thought of 60+ minutes alone with my thoughts. Thank goodness for mindless Netflix watching instead
I was saved from another weekend alone at least. I signed up to volunteer at the XTERRA triathlon and trail race today and tomorrow. I’m actually composing this post while waiting for runners to arrive at my station. So far I’ve met some awesome folks in my volunteer group, enjoyed some delicious (non-hospital) coffee, and am now sitting in the middle of the woods with the sun on my face and the sound of wind in the trees and running water nearby. The volunteer duties and gorgeous surroundings are keeping my less happy thoughts at bay and it is FABULOUS.
Hopefully this weekend diversion will get me through to an upswing and help me regain the energy to go back to the challenging, but hopefully rewarding, work of making friends.