Soooo I was supposed to do a skate ski workout today and I bailed for no good reason.
Conditions were fine – I got off work on time (though a bit tired from some tricky Matlab work), it was relatively warm, and we got some snow last night to cover the ice. But I just have no desire to clip into my skis and bust my way up and down a hill, pushing through the fatigue and discomfort of a hard workout. I’m annoyed that I wimped out, but so unmotivated that I haven’t even done any make-up working out indoors this evening. Instead, I’m sitting in my comfy chair drinking tea and writing this. I just want an evening where I can be a bum and focus on other things, but now that evening is also filled with a bit of missed-workout guilt.
I haven’t actually hit my 6-hours/week exercise goal for the last 4 weeks and feel lame for being such a (compared to my expectations) bum. I have been trying to get motivated for that last ski race in March, but honestly it’s tough to be motivated when I know that even with a big improvement I’ll still be off the back of the fast high school pack. With so few beginners/non high-school athletes the races aren’t really super beginner friendly, and I don’t really feel like ending up alone all over again now that I know what to expect. I’m considering skipping the race because it sounds so utterly unappealing to push myself through training for another 4 weeks just to spend a few laps suffering over what are bound to be pretty cruddy late-Spring snow conditions.
My bike trainer is also being a bit neglected, mainly because I’ve been heading to work at 7am so haven’t been staying up late riding the trainer lately. Riding when MountainMan is still up feels rude, as I generally can’t chat on the (freakin’ obnoxiously loud) trainer. Actual bike season is about a month away so hopefully that will motivate me to start getting back on the trainer at least a couple times a week.
Over all I’ve just felt really unmotivated for training other than running, and even running is so unstructured that I’m not really sure what I’m aiming for. It may be time to ‘hire’ Coach MM again to write some workout weeks that actually specify cross-training just so I have someone to be accountable to!
I’m probably being a bit overdramatic about one missed workout, but I really don’t like feeling this combination of laziness and irritation. At least it’ll be time to go to sleep soon and I’ll be able to let go of the guilty/whiney/lazy feelings and start over. Here’s to beginning tomorrow with a good run and ski and much less sitting around inside! Maybe one day I’ll actually be a good, motivated cross-trainer 😛