This week has not been great for sleep. I keep finding myself laying awake, worrying about various friends and the barrage of uncertainties that seems to have popped up recently*. Sometimes I pray, but even that usually-calming practice is currently hopeless against the insomnia. This awake-and-worrying thing is obviously extremely unproductive, but my logical ‘you should get some sleep’ brain isn’t very effective at 1 a.m. I am trying to channel the anxiety productively into increased involvement and charity aimed at protecting my fellow humans and our environment, but I need to figure out a better way to balance worry and activity. I’m engaging in far too much worry and too little giving of time at the moment.
Apparently I’m also tired because I inadvertently hit just under my peak monthly mileage for the last four years this month, when I’m supposed to still be base building. Oops…fingers crossed I won’t get hurt, not being able to run (and get my endorphin fix!) would about do me in at the moment.
In summary, my soul and my calves are both sore. I pray that my soul will respond to the ache just as my calves will – with increased strength and growth.
*I know these uncertainties, and civil rights challenges, and discriminatory policies, and lack of regard for certain people’s health and safety have really been there all along, but the fact that they are all out in the open, blatant, makes me worried. And, honestly, I probably have been blissfully unaware and unaffected for the majority of my privileged life as a young (straight, Christian, able-bodied, middle-class) white woman. Its time to make up for all my years of naivety.